Sunday, August 10, 2008
- 10:30:00 PM
during the camp..
there's this real loneliness in me..
coz most of the time..
i'm alone..
the feel of no friends..
really sucks..
i wanna get high..
but there are things somehow that are keep pushing and preventing me from getting high..
even thought i'm confident..but
i'm lack of this confident called the self-confident..
it is the self-confident of appearance..
i'm feeling kinda inferior when i saw the guys out there..
comparing with them..
i have no looks..
i cant speak good english..
i am not rich..
i cant attract girls..
i am not fashionable..
i have an old school hairstyle..
i only love old old old old till cannot old songs..
i am old school and stupid..
i feel that this are the reason(S) why there's no chance for me..
in the camp..
we are so close but yet so far..
they can play a fool with you..
talked to you closely..
but i cant..
there's kinda jealousy in me..
i have everything that i want..
but there is this feeling..
a feeling of empty-ness in my heart..
without you..everything just seems so empty..
i'm just like a walking zombie..
just an empty shell walking and wondering..
i dunno what to do and what am i doing..
you dun need to feel bad coz i will feel bad..
you said you owe me one..
a big one..
but i dun wanna you to repay me..
but rather..
to pray..
to hope..
to wish..
to look forward..
that it will change to a chance..
just a single chance for me to be with you..
i'm really back to this love trap..
trap in the darkness and empty-ness..
i just love you..
but..
do you believe?
i dunno..
